Rhonda, that's such a tough situation to be in.  My daughter drove me
places at times when I needed to be somewhere and had no other way, and she
often resented it.  I'd pay for her gas once a week or so, but often she'd
want money more often, and would resent it when I'd say no.  I think I've
heard you say you don't have any other way to get to the hospital to see
Ben, but if I'm mistaken, you might want to use some other way occasionally
just to give your daughter a break.

But you're absolutely right not to let her go off with someone she's just
met on the net.  How does she know how old the person really is, or what
their intentions are?  I've talked to and met many people from my net
contacts, and some have even stayed here.  But a teenager, especially a
female teenager, is in no position to make a decision about such things
without parental guidance.  If she really insists, a meeting at a
restaurant in a mall might be a good time for you and her to size the
person up.  And if she feels that's too invasive of her privacy, well, then
she might just prefer to have no car for a while, either to take you to see
Ben, or for any other reason.  Then it would be clear to her that it's not
just about her taking you to her things and not being alowed to do her
stuff.  Besides, if she only has a permit, she shouldn't even be thinking
of driving off to do stuff on her own.  It's so hard when they're growing
up and want their independence, and often react against wise counsel in an
effort to do their own thing!  I hope nothing more comes of it, but I think
you were wise in laying down the boundaries when it came to meeting her net
friend.

Peggy

At 03:10 AM 12/21/2003 -0500, you wrote:
>I have a question, or rather a situation I would like advice about.
>As y'all know Christa has been driving me to the hospital, to the
>grocery store, bank and to pay bills and run errands since her dad has
>been in the hospital.
>She  chats on the computer with friends, and has met some new ones.  One
>lives not far from here.  He, yes I said He wants to meet Christa, he is
>17 and she is 15.  He is about ten miles from here, about the same
>distance as the hospital. So, Christa wanted todrive to his house and
>meet him.  His parents are home she says and his brothers.  I said No,
>no way could she go and meet some strange boy as far as I knew.  That if
>she were ever to meet him, he would have to come here, or we would have
>to go with her to a mall or public place.
>She was angry with me, and said I only let her drive if it was something
>I wanted to do.
>Today she didn't want to stay at the hospital so she left me there and
>came back a couple of hours later.  We are abouteight miles from the
>hospital.  So I said that she and I would just stay together, and she
>wouldn't have to drive by herself anymore.
>
>I realize that being a parent isn't always popular, and so since I was
>not letting her do as she pleased, she was angry.  I guess I just resent
>her implication of "since I have been doing this for you, you
>should....."
>Not actually spoken, but the feeling was there.
>I called Ben and he told her the same thing.
>So, she hasn't spoken to me all night, well, this too shall pass,
>but my question is how do you guys handle having a teen driver take you
>places?  Do you pay them as though it were a job, or is it just
>something they do occasionally.
>Just curious as to what y'all think of this.
>
>Christa is usually pretty agreeable, but sometimes she can be down right
>difficult, but that comes I think with being a teenager.
>
>Thanks for your ideas!
>
>Rhonda

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