HI Phil,
Interesting response to our situation. You had mentioned that your
approach would be different to Chris. I’m interested in how you would
handle this situation differently. We’re open to any and all suggestions.
Of course, if Chris were to submit himself to Christ, which is the only
real solution, everything would be so different. We take advantage of the
spiritual opportunities as they come to us, but in fairness to the rest
of the family, we do have to respond to his behavior. If external control
is all that we can have, for the sake of his siblings, we will use it. Of
course, we recognize that this isn’t the ideal. Greg and I were talking
about your post. We commented that things would be so different if Chris
were all out for Christ and wanted to submit to Him as Lord of his life.
Then his frustration would be different because he would be dealing with
facing his fallen nature and the reality of how far short he and we all
fall of the glory of God. That’s not what frustrates Chris though. What
frustrates him is the fact that he can’t have life his way. He can’t
force all of us to conform to his will and he can’t just do what he wants
when he wants. The whole situation is just so complicated! He’s battling
the sinful nature that we all struggle with. Brad is right too when he
mentions self-esteem. That’s a part of it as well. Yes, there are times
when Chris would like to be alone, but even when he is working on his
shed, he prefers to have someone else with him. He will ask his younger
brother or sister to keep him company. Sometimes I will go out and sit
with him and talk to him while he is working. Every day when Greg comes
home lately, he can’t wait to share his progress on the shed with Him.
He’s even getting to a point at which he will ask Greg for advice. This
didn’t happen in the beginning. Greg also tries to take every opportunity
that he can to talk to all the kids when they are alone in the car with
him. That is probably the one good thing about having to take the kids in
so many different directions.
Chris is the first one out the door in the morning so he often sees Greg
and I hving our devotions together. He has commented on this and I think
that it really impresses him. He knows that he can come to us with
anything and that we will take the time to talk things through with him.
As you said, however, he is still moldable, but that means that there are
a lot of forces wanting to have a say in the molding process.
I hope that this message isn’t sounding defensive. It isn’t meant to be.
I do understand that the real issue with Chris is spiritual, but that is
the one thing that cannot be forced so we have to do what we can with
what we can and just keep praying.
Kathy

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