Mat,
We use to have one when our kids were young. It was great actually. I
forget all the things we had in it. Looking at your list it seems laden
with the word or inference of "discipline". While I am a big supporter of
disciplinary actions when warranted, there also need be, at least in our
case, a positive draw and incentive for them to follow directions and etc.
The big things with me personally were...
*Absolutely no lying, fibbing or stretching the truth. My kids learned that
even half truths can be a lie or misleading and would not be tolerated at
all and disciplines would be carried out.
* Absolutely, and punishable from first offense, was taking advantage of
the old man's loss of sight. That means everything from no rolling of eyes
when I tell them to do something to no sneaking around or trying to get by
with something do to my lack of sight. And that I would be the judge jury
and prosecutor in that case.
* Respectful attitudes towards us as parents. No talk back or fits, or you
know there'd be punishment.
We were always fair with our kids too however. And not only did they know
what not to do, they also were made clear on what it was they were suppose
to do, or got to do. We had just as much part in responsibility as they to
insure they were told and not have to read minds.
For chores, at the time I was self-studying Q-Basic Programming. So I wrote
a little program that had all the chores they normally participated in,
stuff like feed dog, sort socks, take garbage out, fold clothes, and basic
chores to help out around the house. This program then would pop up saying
something like...
Your turn to pick Amber!
Then she'd hit the Enter key and it would give her a chore and she'd have
to write it down, Then Mike would get his chance, and so on until all the
chores were picked at random. Granted computers were fairly new so kids
were pretty jazzed about doing anything on them, plus their chores were
randomly picked every week to not let them get bored. I also developed a
game called "Funny Money" This game gave them points for completing their
chores and any extra stuff they did, and they were given so many points at
the end of the week. When they reached so many points it was worth some
much $$ for the family to do something of their choice together within that
dollar amount. They liked it and it worked for the age they were and the
late 80's early 90's. Point being they had an incentive to please and the
reward was to pick something to do, but it was a family activity like go
for ice cream, a movie or whatever.
Brad
At 07:28 PM 1/23/2004 -0600, Matt wrote:
>Hi folks, I am going through a tape set on raising children and one thing it
>mentions as a good idea is to have a family constitution of sorts and to
>print it up and post it in your house.
>I am going through this right now and still taking notes, but here's what I
>have so far.
>Any suggestions you have on things to add to the 10 commandments or whatever
>of this document would be appreciated.
>What would be one of your big rules in your home?
>Here's my notes so far,
>
>Family constitution
>commandments
>
>1 Honor one another.
>respect, chores,
>2 consistency
>follow through with discipline, carry paddle and make it known to the child.
>correct once, be clear that if they do anything like that again, there will
>be consequence. After first warning, discipline.
>Rules of discipline,
>no anger, walk, don't run.
>3 A controlled emotional and verbal atmosphere.
>discipline is not to frighten or for emotional release.
>Don't name call,Don't discipline in public unless it is an emergency.
>No yelling, no grabbing and flailing.
>No extremism, No reverse psychology, No physical scaring.
>Apply discipline in love.
>Examples of corrections
>Spanking, grounding, withdrawal of prividiledges, extra chores,
>repentance, restitution.
>
>What to discipline
>Attitudes, willful defiance and disobedience, disrespect and bad manners,
>laziness and irresponsibility, immoral or illegal behavior, lying, bullying,
>selfishness or abuse of other children or siblings.
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