Paul, this is why I wrote to the list I knew I'd get some answers or felt i
would.  So I will reply to your email in maybe severeal parts lol.

Here's the deal, when Todd and I first got together, we of course didn't
know each other but after a while we begin living together now lets just say
we weren't doing the christ-like thing ouch!!!! I'm still convicted of that
one.  I know I have asked for forgiveness, Todd wasn't a christian at the
time so ouch again holding my head down, I caused him to stumble.  ouch.
Well, then I by the conviction of the Holy Spirit begin to walk with the
Lord again, I begin to go to church not the one I attend now but I went to a
churc and invited Todd to go, while going to that church he got saved and
baptized.  Then I got back in touch with my youth pastor and his family and
they rented us there three bedroom house, now I was verry happy with that as
I'd be able to have my own room, at the time we had a two bedroom house and
had another roommie besides Todd and I, but then our other roommie Arthur
moved out so lo and behold the Lord gave me my own room again.  Good choice
yay.  I took it.  Now at that time Todd didn't understand and so I prayed
about it.  Then we got this three bedroom house, and I was doing great with
my own big room with my own little bed smiling until January well, now as I
said its getting hard and now as I said I know why we should not live
together.  But I must say that through God alone and I truly mean this as
God is my witness He has kept me from that temptation, after watching
football together in his rom and me being tempted again I stopped that and
wooooohoo I also found and was able to show Todd in the bible where it says
that we should keep the marriage bed pure.  So, no unfortunately its my
fault not his he is still a new christian growing in his walk.  I am the
mature one of the two or should be ouch again.  I tell you all this because
I need your support and prayers and always honesty.  Trust me I'm convicted.

Lelia


----- Original Message -----
From: "Ariel" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 6:17 AM
Subject: Re: good morning all.


> Hey, Lelia
>
> I wasn't offended by your note and hope you're not offended by my reply.
I
> don't understand whether you and Todd are in a house or a hotel or what.
If
> you are in a house with other people, such as staying over his parents
house
> and there is some pressure not to get out of line it's understandable to
> stay in the house but in different rooms of course.  And if you are
staying
> in a hotel where accountability is easier, that's the same deal.  But you
> should never stay in the same house alone and without some kind of
pressure
> not to misbehave.  Just my opinion but it is just too tempting especially
> with the wedding so close.  The greatest gift humanity has is to justify
> itself in anything it wants to do, and you will eventually justify
sleeping
> together before marriage if this continues.  Also, I know I'm old
fashioned
> (and just plain old to hear Kerri say it) but keeping this sort of thing
> from happening is more Todd's responsibility than yours as the spiritual
> leader of the home.  He is to ensure not only that nothing happens before
> the wedding but that there isn't even the appearance that anything
untoward
> is happening.
>
> Joni Eareckson Tada and her husband Ken were advised even by Christian
> friends that because of her disability they should have sex before the
> wedding to make sure they could handle whatever it involved or didn't
> involve.  But they refused, rightly, saying that they could not as
> Christians do what would dishonor CHRIST even if it were for a reason that
> seemed right at the time.  The fact is, you're almost married but not
> married yet, and right up until the vows are spoken there is the
possibility
> for the LORD or your common sense to change your mind (not to say that's
the
> case in your marriage).  Sex, in fact any sexual contact, clouds that
> thinking and clogs your ears to the LORD because your hormones are
roaring.
>
> As a man I'd like to think I could just "snuggle" and keep sex out of it
but
> it's not worth the risk and the guilt and, again, the possibility of
> misunderstanding some message of something that needs to be straightened
out
> before the wedding if you're sexually involved.  It's no different than a
> man who has been out in the desert suddenly gulping a large amount of
water
> when he's rescued.  It will hurt him.  He needs to only get the right
amount
> and at the right time, for his own good.  Tasting before marriage what is
> meant only for marriage is deadly and will taint any testimony you have to
> future couples who will simply have to get engaged to have sex without
> responsibility in that thinking.
>
> So, praying for you, of course, but make sure you and Todd are doing
> everything possible to keep yourself accountable and out of trouble or
> simply praying won't work.  The temptation to lay on hands in prayer is
just
> too strong.  Smile.
>
> Lion who has been there
>