Jenn,

I can only suggest that God does want to meet you on this issue and that you
can lose nothing if you call Phil for a chat and pray.  You have everything
to gain.

Every time Phil and I have prayed together I have come back the richer -
even if we haven't always ended up praying for that thing for which I really
felt I needed an answer.  God doesn't always work like that!  But those deep
needs of your heart will be met!

If for some reason you really think you prefer to speak/pray with a woman,
I'm very happy to call you also.


--
Carol



----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenifer Barr" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 12:12 PM
Subject: Re: I Flew Kites With Jesus Part 2


> Phil.
> I really don't know what to say.  I don't know if i put this in my message
> when i first got back... but the day my dad was killed, i woke up at 3 AM
> and had a very uneasy feeling inside.  I prayed.  He died.  I prayed
against
> death, but did God really hear my prayers?  I feel like i am not rightious
> enough, and that I'm not a quote-true-unquote Christian.  I feel like a
fake
> because my prayer wasn't answer.  I hear and read about all of those
others
> that pray before things happen, and it is prevented.  I know i can't go
back
> and change what was done either.  I feel like i can't pray anymore because
> if I do nothing will be accomplished... it wasn't that night.  I know this
> is a lie of satan, but feel like i can't do anything about it.  I know God
> wants to deliver me, but just don't know how.
> Jenifer Barr
>
> "I can do all things through Christ who strengthins me."
> Phil 4:13
>
> Email:
> [log in to unmask]
> Aim:
> jenibear1998
> MSNIM (no email):
> [log in to unmask]
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 11:21 PM
> Subject: I Flew Kites With Jesus Part 2
>
>
> >      Then I spoke and said, "There's one thing left now."
> >
> >      "What's that, Phil," Bret asked.
> >
> >      "I feel lonely.  I feel all alone and by myself."
> >
> >      "Holy Spirit, show Phil what you want him to know about this
> > loneliness he feels," Bret prayed.
> >
> >      At that very moment, the memory picture of being in the
> > hospital and laying on my back instantly vanished and was replaced
> > with another memory.  I was at the graveside service of my father.
> > I saw myself and my mom and all the other people on one side of
> > the casket.  On the opposite side of the casket, I saw Jesus.  He
> > seemed as if He wanted to say something or do something but I
> > couldn't understand what it was.  I also felt the anger firmly
> > rooted in this memory and that it had not come from the hospital
> > memory at all.  I reported this to Bret.
> >
> >      "Lord Jesus, what do you want to do with Phil's anger that he
> > feels?" Bret prayed.
> >
> >      "He wants me to give it to him." I replied without
> > hesitation.  So I prayed and gave it to the Lord.
> >
> >      "Holy Spirit," he prayed, "what is it now that you want Phil
> > to know or to understand about this memory event in his life?"
> >
> >      I laughed.
> >
> >      "What is it?" Bret asked.
> >
> >      "Well," I replied, "I can see myself standing on the other
> > side of the casket.  I am smiling and saying, "Can I go play now?"
> >
> >      Bret laughed, too.  "Sure.  Nothing wrong with that."
> >
> >      I saw the Lord still standing on the other side of the
> > casket.  I felt He was saying, "Come with me."
> >
> >      I said, "Come with you where?"
> >
> >      Jesus raised in arm as if to say, "Follow me."  Instantly the
> > memory picture of the graveside service vanished and I was back at
> > the home where I grew up.  Jesus was walking next to me into the
> > field next to our home where I used to fly my kites.  My dad
> > taught me how to fly kites in that very field.  As we walked out
> > into the warm sunshine of the summer day, I saw myself carrying a
> > red kite and I saw another red kite flying high overhead already
> > and it was red as well.  I somehow knew both kites were mine.  As
> > we walked, the man next to me was clearly Jesus and felt like
> > Jesus but he also felt just like my father.  Yet I knew it was the
> > Lord.  I reported this to Bret.
> >
> >      Keep in mind that what I just described was not a memory I
> > was seeing.  Additionally, all my memories and things I sense when
> > I pray are still pictures, that is, nothing is moving.
> > Occasionally, something like this happens as I pray where movement
> > occurs.  I have no idea exactly why the memories are like fixed
> > snap shot pictures but then occasionally there is movement.  I
> > personally interpret it as a level of deeper spiritual intimacy
> > occurring because in every case, that's how it feels.
> >
> >      Bret asked me if we could return to the two memories to make
> > certain we haven't missed anything.  I agreed and there was
> > nothing remaining in the memory of the graveside service I had
> > concerning my father.  The hospital memory was different.
> >
> > Note.
> >
> >      The moment I went back in my mind to the memory in the
> > hospital, I felt Jesus standing next to me but did not see Him.  I
> > also did not see my bed nor myself in the bed.  It felt like a
> > large empty room.
> >
> >      "I still feel a little bit of anger left in this memory," I
> > said.
> >
> >      "Holy Spirit," Bret prayed, "What do you want Phil to know
> > about this anger?"
> >
> >      The feeling I received as an answer is a great deal more
> > complex than I am able to describe but in my own words, it is
> > something like this.  The Lord told me that we are friends and
> > that sometimes friends have disagreements and misunderstandings.
> > Sometimes friends will even have arguments and become angry.
> > Again, the Lord said, we were friends so as far as He was
> > concerned, the misunderstanding and the anger was over because of
> > our friendship.  He made it clear in my thinking that He wasn't
> > upset that I was mad at Him at the time.  The feeling of being in
> > a partnership manifested in my thoughts again and seemed to be
> > growing stronger.
> >
> >      At this point, the remaining feeling of anger vanished and
> > there were no negative emotions remaining in that memory in the
> > hospital.
> >
> >      After reporting what I felt the Lord was saying about all
> > this, Bret prayed again and said, "Holy Spirit, is there anything
> > else Phil needs to know about this memory?"
> >
> >      Instantly I heard the words and spoke them audibly the moment
> > I heard them because it was so strongly stated, I could not keep
> > quiet.  I said, "I am not blind any more."
> >
> > Note.
> >
> >      Of course, this can be taken two ways, or both ways, for that
> > matter.  The Lord could have been speaking spiritually or
> > physically.  It makes no difference to me how you personally
> > interpret what I just said.  I know in my heart, on the other
> > hand, what He was talking about.
> >
> >      Again Bret prayed, "Holy Spirit, is there anything else?"
> >
> >      I spoke it the instant I heard the words; "We are leaving
> > this place."
> >
> >      "We are leaving this place?" Bret questioned.
> >
> > Note.
> >
> >      The reason he asked this question is due to the fact I used
> > the word "we."  In demonic manifestation, it is common that they
> > will speak in the plural because there is often more than one
> > demonic spirit involved.  Also, it is very common for demons to
> > leave on their own when the reason for their presence has been
> > removed, that is, their implanted lies.  Sometimes they will even
> > say they are leaving out loud through the person's own voice or
> > they will say this in the mind of the person receiving
> > intercessory prayer.  Additionally, in the case of multiple
> > personalities, or Dissociative Identity Disorder cases, the term
> > "we" is sometimes used by the alternate personalities as a
> > collective statement.  Since I figured this was what Bret might be
> > thinking, I clarified what I said.
> >
> >      "Yes, the Lord said, we are leaving this place."
> >
> >      A final time, Bret said, "Holy Spirit, is there anything
> > else?"
> >
> >      Again, the words came to my mind instantly and I spoke them
> > aloud.  "And we are never coming back."
> >
> >      Bret said, "I know that is true, Phil."
> >
> >      "Oh, really?" I replied.  "How?"
> >
> >      "Because," he said, "that is exactly what the Lord said to me
> > before you spoke it out loud."
> >
> >      I laughed because I have had the exact same thing happen to
> > me as an intercessor when praying with others.
> >
> > Personal Comments
> >
> >      Some people think this type of thing is still psychology and
> > packaged in Biblical terms.  They will refer to it as regressive
> > therapy, inner healing, hypnosis, suggestive imagery, and some
> > like to call this Psycho Heresy.  They never once consider it to
> > be what it really is and that is agreement of two people in
> > intercessory prayer.  When I am praying with people, sometimes I
> > pray and sometimes I ask them to pray.  What is going on in the
> > mind is nothing different than personal prayer that is conducted
> > silently.  If you have never heard the Lord speaking to you in
> > your thoughts, I would be concerned.  Why?  Because if you do not
> > know His voice, as He said we would in John's Gospel, (see John
> > 10:4), then you will find it less easy to follow Him as that verse
> > proclaims we should as His Sheep.  Additionally, if you do not
> > know our Lord's voice, how will you know the difference in your
> > thoughts when He speaks to you compared to that of a demonic
> > spirit's voice?  The truth is, you won't and you will be deceived
> > if it is demonic in nature.
> >
> > Illustration
> >
> >      I was praying with a lady one day who was suicidal.  she
> > admitted she was hearing voices as well and she concluded that she
> > had to be crazy.  Besides, it was what everyone else thought;
> > including her own doctor, friends, and family.  I asked her if she
> > wanted to pray and she said that she did.  As we prayed, exactly
> > as you have read about in this testimony, she began to experience
> > blockage to her own thoughts.  This can only mean one of three
> > things.  The person is mentally ill and literally is incapable of
> > focusing on certain thoughts, they are Dissociative, or they are
> > being demonically influenced.  I asked this lady if she wanted to
> > find out the truth and she said yes.  I prayed and in the name of
> > the True Lord Jesus Christ, I set down parameters for any demons
> > that were present to follow.  I told them, if they did not obey
> > the rules, I would immediately turn them over to the Lord Jesus
> > Christ.  The reason for this is due to the nature of demonic
> > spirits.  They love to play with your mind and they love to
> > sidetrack you from finding out the truth, that is, why they have
> > the right to be there in that person's life in the first place.
> > If you spend any other time trying to debate them, you will most
> > likely be fooled.  Laying down guidelines or parameters for them
> > to obey sets the rules.  If they disobey, they immediately are
> > turned over to Jesus because He is their Lord and Master and they
> > must obey Him and His Word.
> >
> >      Once this was done, I asked the Lord Jesus to pick a
> > spokesman, if there was more than one unclean spirit present, to
> > speak and to confess why they have the right to be in this woman's
> > life.  This is a good idea unless you want to be talking with
> > different demons all day long.  Besides, we don't need to talk to
> > all of them anyway.  A demon spoke in this woman's mind and she
> > told me what he said.
> >
> >      To make a long story short, the Lord did something very
> > unusual for this lady.  When I asked her what she was hearing in
> > her thoughts, she said, "Well, I hear two voices."  I asked her
> > what one was saying.  She said, "It is saying I am crazy and
> > should be in the hospital to get help."  I asked her if she knew
> > who that voice was and she said, "That's a demon."  I asked her
> > what the other voice was saying in her thoughts and she said, "He
> > is saying, I am not crazy and He can heal and He cares for me."  I
> > asked her if she knew who that was and she said, "that has to be
> > the Lord."
> >
> >      I said, "Can you see what the Lord just has done for you?"
> >
> >      She said, "What?"
> >
> >      I said, "The Lord just proved to you that you are not crazy."
> > I said, "If you were crazy, you could not have told me the
> > difference between those two voices but because you do recognize
> > the difference, the Lord showed you that you are not crazy."
> >
> >      This is why it is important that we hear the Lord as we pray
> > and know His voice.  Otherwise, we can be easily fooled in to
> > listening to the wrong voice.
> >
> > Conclusion
> >
> >      Following the closing of the church I pastored for only
> > eleven months, I began having anxiety and panic attacks.  Due to
> > the manic depression, I found it impossible to work.  During this
> > three year period of my life, a good friend called one night.
> > "Hey, Phil.  This is Bill.  I want you to go with me to hear an
> > evangelist speak at First Assemblies of God in Aurora where I am a
> > member."
> >
> >      "When is he going to be there?" I asked; thinking I could
> > put him off week by week until he gave up on me.
> >
> >      "He is preaching tonight and he is great.  I want to pick you
> > up tonight."
> >
> >      I tried getting out of it but Bill was so insistent, I
> > finally gave in.  I had told him no about such things so many
> > times before, I finally decided I couldn't say no any more.
> >
> >      I cannot remember this preacher's last name but his first
> > name was Jim.  He was good and I actually found myself encouraged
> > by his preaching that night.  He wasn't the typical pulpit
> > pounding, overbearing yelling type of preacher like I am, but he
> > was good and I appreciated what he said.
> >
> >      Of course, there was an altar call and about everybody in the
> > meeting, including my friend, when forward for prayer.  I didn't.
> >
> >      Bill returned after being prayed for and asked me if I wanted
> > to go down for prayer.  I said I didn't need to but thanked him
> > anyway.  We waited, for what, I didn't know.  I felt anxiety
> > building and tightness growing in my chest and I wanted to get
> > home.  Yet, we sat there doing nothing as others received prayer.
> >
> >      Probably thirty minutes passed and my friend said, "Are you
> > sure you don't want him to pray with you?  Just about everybody is
> > gone."
> >
> >      "Naw," I said; I'm fine.  Talk about lying.
> >
> >      "Oh, come on, Phil.  What can it hurt."
> >
> >      Bill knew the depression I had been going through.  "All
> > right," I sighed, "let's go."
> >
> >      The building was almost empty and few people were left as I
> > was introduced to the evangelist.  He took my hand and said, "I
> > bet I know what you want."
> >
> >      "I said, "No, I really do not need to pray about being healed
> > and getting my sight back because I have settled that issue with
> > God already."
> >
> >      "Then what shall we pray about?" he asked kindly.
> >
> >      "I said I was just having a hard time right now and was very
> > discouraged."  What an understatement but this man was wiser than
> > I gave him credit.
> >
> >      He said, "I want to tell you something.  The Lord is going to
> > call you into a deliverance ministry."
> >
> >      I immediately broke down and began to cry.  Barely able to
> > speak, I said, "I don't want to be in a deliverance ministry," and
> > I explained how I had been demonically attacked already.
> >
> >      "No, no," he said.  "I'm sorry.  I don't mean that type of
> > ministry of casting out demons and all that stuff we think about
> > as Charismatics and Pentecostals.  You are going to work with
> > people one-on-one and this will be something totally different.
> > You are going to be greatly used by God in the new ministry and
> > minister to many people."
> >
> >      We prayed and I thought nothing more about it.  I had no idea
> > what he had been talking about until nearly fourteen years later
> > when his personal prophecy concerning my life came to pass.  I am
> > now doing exactly what he said the Lord revealed to him about me.
> > If I knew the man's name and how to find him, I would love to talk
> > to him and tell him he really did hear from the Lord that night he
> > prayed for me and the personal prophecy the Lord gave him for me
> > has come to pass.
> >
> > Final Remarks
> >
> >      Now, where are you in God?  Do you feel his love?  When you
> > pray, are you aware of His presence in your life?  What about
> > those thoughts in your mind?  Why aren't they in agreement with
> > God's Word.  Could it be that you, too, are believing a lie.  Let
> > me suggest that you go back and read this testimony again and you
> > will see yourself, in some way, in my story.  Then pick up your
> > telephone and call me.
> >
> > Safe Place Fellowship
> > Phil Scovell
> > Denver, Colorado - Mountain Time Zone
> > Phone:  303-507-5175
> > Web:  WWW.SafePlaceFellowship.COM
> > Web:  WWW.RedWhiteAndBlue.ORG
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Crazy For Jesus
> > www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>