Subject: Fw: How to Unsubscribe






  My friend had signed up for one of those e-mail daily joke subscriptions.
  After 5 days and only two jokes, he asked how to unsubscribe.
  Their reply was as follows:


  How To Unsubscribe

  To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

  Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of the
perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimetre torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the triangular
separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into place using the
band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling hole,
making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell battery and the
eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.

  The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional
digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital
corkscrew through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution
not to touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn
the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a
48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the
door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719
psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should now be
properly calibrated and ready to use.

  Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southern most section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.

  The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is off,
flip the toggle switch labelled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to
47 before logging on to the system.

  Logon using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to take
and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor while
turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control, alt,
delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously. Press
enter.

  You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

  Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.