Hi -

The good news is that staying dairy-free isn't that difficult, and you can
still maintain a healthy diet for your son.  The bad news is that, with the
potential for an anaphylactic reaction that your son has, you'll have to
be constantly vigilant.

Some areas of concern:

School!  Some schools are good about food allergies, others require some
serious education.  The Food Allergy and Asthma Network has excellent training
materials, information on school emergency plans, etc.  Be sure to inform
yourself about the issues BEFORE you start shopping for school/daycare.
(I link to the FAAN from my web page, by the way.)

Hospitals.  Just don't let your son eat hospital food at all.  Bring your own.

Playdates.  Other people's homes vary in how well they keep the spilt milk
off the floor (as it were).  Unless you are VERY confident of a child's home,
YOU provide any snacks for the kids to share.

Nutrition.  Not as big an issue as you think.  The American diet depends upon
milk for calcium and protein.  Both are EASILY gotten from other sources,
such as calcium supplements, enriched drinks (ie orange juice, rice milk or
soy milk), broccolli, etc. for calcium, and kosher cold cuts for protein (and
fat).  (Kosher foods don't let milk and meat co-exist.)

You'll probably find my web page helpful.  It goes into greater detail on
these issues, on the details of shopping for groceries, etc.

I hope this helps,
--Beth Kevles
  [log in to unmask]
  http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
  Disclaimer:  Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
  advice.  Please consult with your own medical practicioner.