well legally she can, but, realistically can she?
doing your own thing should always be on ones own
dime. when sara wanted to do her own thing, we said
fine, you are an adult, you pay your own bills. hard,
yes, but, then we made it stick. ben has not ever even
treatened to move out after seeing how that really
worked. i know you want her own board, but, never let
a threat to move out threaten your soviegnty of the
family. you are paying the bills.
--- Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hi, Kat,
>
> Well, according to the IRS - as she is not a blood
> relation - she must live with me 365 days a year to
> be considered a dependent, and being away at college
> - she is not living with me. I already had that
> discussion with the IRS when I got custody of her of
> her three ago - and wantedto claim her on the taxes
> - I had her 9 out 12 months but no dice. Now, I can
> still keep the roof over her head in the summer and
> on weekend visits, and do total support then, and I
> do have her on my health insurance as dependent. But
> I think legally, I have no ground to stand on and
> she can walk out and do her own thing.
> So, to get her help is going to need her buying into
> going to the doctors.
>
> I am glad you got help! And I am going to the best I
> can here for Alex.
>
> Trisha
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of
> Kathy
> Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 8:25 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> Aren't you her legal guardian? I know she's 18 and
> all, but if you are her
> main means of support - i.e., can claim her as a
> dependent on your income tax
> form - then you might have some parental rights.
> But I'm not an attorney so
> obviously I don't know much about family law.
>
> You do have issues here, all right. You need to get
> her to a doctor ASAP and
> get her treated but as Susan said, it's very
> difficult to get anorexics and
> bulimics to realise they need help.
>
> A little personal background here - way back in the
> 1980s I was so stressed
> out, I practically stopped eating. I lost over 20
> pounds and was gettng
> close to being underweight when my dad looked at me
> one day and said I was
> too thin. (this coming from a man who was always
> trying to lose weight
> himself!) But I resisted going to a counsellor
> until the day I picked up the
> phone and took a call from an irate customer who
> reduced me to tears in
> seconds. All of a sudden, I thought, is this worth
> dying for? And I went to
> the local public mental health clinic as I'd no
> medical insurance and went
> through two years of counselling. Now, I wasn't
> truely anorexic because I
> did eat but my counsellor told me later I could have
> easily beome one.
>
> So there you go - my near-anorexic experience.
> There are far better ways to
> lose weight and deal with stress, believe me!
>
> Kat
>
> On Thursday 07 April 2005 11:34 am, Trisha Cummings
> wrote:
> > Hi Kat,
> >
> > Well, for starters - this minefield and Alex is
> 18 now. She has an
> > apointment next week with a otolaryngologist down
> in Newports were she goes
> > to college. Step one. I have to wait till she back
> here - she will be back
> > - the end of May. Then I take her to our primary
> care doctor and have a
> > physical, and get a referral for a
> gastroentrogolist. We then rule out any
> > real medical problems, get an offical diganosis
> from a professional, and
> > move to recommended care from there. I have to
> work with her here, its no
> > like with Amber where I am actually the parent. If
> she knew what I thought
> > and planned - she would refuse to do it. And at 18
> - she can. And I won't
> > even get into the emotional issues here. I will
> continue to do what's right
> > for her - for as long as she allows it.
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of
> [log in to unmask]
> > Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 1:41 PM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > I confess I'm wondering why you're waiting until
> the summer to get this
> > checked out=2E If it's bulima, her esophaugus
> could be damaged, and the
> > longer you wait for treatment the worse off she
> will be=2E If it's peptic=
> >
> > ulcers or something like that, the untreated
> ulcer could perferate the
> > stomach lining and she could be in danger of
> peronitis, a very dangerous
> > condition=2E So don't wait to get her to a
> doctor=2E
> >
> > Kat=20
> >
> > Original Message:
> > -----------------
> > From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=2ECOM
> > Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 10:44:46 -0400
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > Hi Again Kat,
> >
> > I think you may have hit the nail on the head
> - eating disorders are =
> > a
> > direct result of emotional problems=2E I am going
> to research bulimia -
> > Thank!!! been thinking about since I got your
> e-mail=2E
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: St=2E John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > [mailto:C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU]On
> Behalf Of
> > ksalkin@triad=2Err=2E= com
> > Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 8:52 AM
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > Alex may be bingeing and purging=3D2E Remember
> that eating disorders are
> > reactions to stress and Alex may be having
> problems handling uni=3D2E If =
> > th=3D
> > e
> > teacher went to the lengths of contacting you
> regarding Alex's problems,
> > she must be very concerned as I don't think uni
> teachers or professors
> > normally contact parents for things like that -
> uni students are normally
> > regarded as adults who are responsible for their
> own behavior and
> > health=3D= 2E=3D
> > =3D20
> >
> > As I said, Bobby probably will have better advice
> to give you but I'm thin=
> > =3D
> > k
> > you were right at least in investigating the
> matter, although I think you
> > might have talked to Alex before talking to the
> teacher=3D2E But then, Al=
> > ex=3D
> >
> > might have told you she wasn't having any problems
> when she really is=3D2E=
> > =3D
> > I
> > feel it's a judgement call every parents has to
> make in a situation like
> > this=3D2E
> >
> > Sorry I'm not being much help=3D2E=3D20
> >
> > Kat
> >
> > Original Message:
> > -----------------
> > From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=3D2ECOM
> > Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 07:52:16 -0400
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=3D2ESTJOHNS=3D2EEDU
>
=== message truncated ===
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Make Yahoo! your home page
http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs
|