Hi, Kat,
Well, according to the IRS - as she is not a blood relation - she must live with me 365 days a year to be considered a dependent, and being away at college - she is not living with me. I already had that discussion with the IRS when I got custody of her of her three ago - and wantedto claim her on the taxes - I had her 9 out 12 months but no dice. Now, I can still keep the roof over her head in the summer and on weekend visits, and do total support then, and I do have her on my health insurance as dependent. But I think legally, I have no ground to stand on and she can walk out and do her own thing.
So, to get her help is going to need her buying into going to the doctors.
I am glad you got help! And I am going to the best I can here for Alex.
Trisha
-----Original Message-----
From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Kathy
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 8:25 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Parental help needed
Aren't you her legal guardian? I know she's 18 and all, but if you are her
main means of support - i.e., can claim her as a dependent on your income tax
form - then you might have some parental rights. But I'm not an attorney so
obviously I don't know much about family law.
You do have issues here, all right. You need to get her to a doctor ASAP and
get her treated but as Susan said, it's very difficult to get anorexics and
bulimics to realise they need help.
A little personal background here - way back in the 1980s I was so stressed
out, I practically stopped eating. I lost over 20 pounds and was gettng
close to being underweight when my dad looked at me one day and said I was
too thin. (this coming from a man who was always trying to lose weight
himself!) But I resisted going to a counsellor until the day I picked up the
phone and took a call from an irate customer who reduced me to tears in
seconds. All of a sudden, I thought, is this worth dying for? And I went to
the local public mental health clinic as I'd no medical insurance and went
through two years of counselling. Now, I wasn't truely anorexic because I
did eat but my counsellor told me later I could have easily beome one.
So there you go - my near-anorexic experience. There are far better ways to
lose weight and deal with stress, believe me!
Kat
On Thursday 07 April 2005 11:34 am, Trisha Cummings wrote:
> Hi Kat,
>
> Well, for starters - this minefield and Alex is 18 now. She has an
> apointment next week with a otolaryngologist down in Newports were she goes
> to college. Step one. I have to wait till she back here - she will be back
> - the end of May. Then I take her to our primary care doctor and have a
> physical, and get a referral for a gastroentrogolist. We then rule out any
> real medical problems, get an offical diganosis from a professional, and
> move to recommended care from there. I have to work with her here, its no
> like with Amber where I am actually the parent. If she knew what I thought
> and planned - she would refuse to do it. And at 18 - she can. And I won't
> even get into the emotional issues here. I will continue to do what's right
> for her - for as long as she allows it.
>
> Trisha
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of [log in to unmask]
> Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 1:41 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> I confess I'm wondering why you're waiting until the summer to get this
> checked out=2E If it's bulima, her esophaugus could be damaged, and the
> longer you wait for treatment the worse off she will be=2E If it's peptic=
>
> ulcers or something like that, the untreated ulcer could perferate the
> stomach lining and she could be in danger of peronitis, a very dangerous
> condition=2E So don't wait to get her to a doctor=2E
>
> Kat=20
>
> Original Message:
> -----------------
> From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=2ECOM
> Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 10:44:46 -0400
> To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> Hi Again Kat,
>
> I think you may have hit the nail on the head - eating disorders are =
> a
> direct result of emotional problems=2E I am going to research bulimia -
> Thank!!! been thinking about since I got your e-mail=2E
>
> Trisha
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St=2E John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU]On Behalf Of
> ksalkin@triad=2Err=2E= com
> Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 8:52 AM
> To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> Alex may be bingeing and purging=3D2E Remember that eating disorders are
> reactions to stress and Alex may be having problems handling uni=3D2E If =
> th=3D
> e
> teacher went to the lengths of contacting you regarding Alex's problems,
> she must be very concerned as I don't think uni teachers or professors
> normally contact parents for things like that - uni students are normally
> regarded as adults who are responsible for their own behavior and
> health=3D= 2E=3D
> =3D20
>
> As I said, Bobby probably will have better advice to give you but I'm thin=
> =3D
> k
> you were right at least in investigating the matter, although I think you
> might have talked to Alex before talking to the teacher=3D2E But then, Al=
> ex=3D
>
> might have told you she wasn't having any problems when she really is=3D2E=
> =3D
> I
> feel it's a judgement call every parents has to make in a situation like
> this=3D2E
>
> Sorry I'm not being much help=3D2E=3D20
>
> Kat
>
> Original Message:
> -----------------
> From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=3D2ECOM
> Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 07:52:16 -0400
> To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=3D2ESTJOHNS=3D2EEDU
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> Hi Kat,
>
> This wasn't angle I had thought of - she is very much over weigh and has=
> =3D
>
> gained at least 20 pounds being away school=3D2E I will take her to a
> gastroentrologist this summer - and I do see that she has counseling=3D2E =
> As=3D
>
> Amber said she makes herself throw becasue it makes her stomach quit
> hurting when she is upset=3D2E Was I wrong to talk to the teacher tho - An=
> d
> thanks for giving me something else to consider and check out=3D2E All pos=
> si=3D
> ble
> things need to be brought into play to help her=3D2E=3D20
> Trisha
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St=3D2E John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=3D2ESTJOHNS=3D2EEDU]On Behalf Of Kathy
> Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 8:16 AM
> To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=3D2ESTJOHNS=3D2EEDU
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> Trisha, this may be a serious health problem - if Alex makes herself throw=
> =3D
>
> up
> she may be bulimic and that requires medical attention=3D2E It's an eatin=
> g
> disorder and bulimics usually deny they're sick until they are seriously i=
> =3D
> ll
> or if they get counselling=3D2E Bobby can give you better advice than I, =
> bu=3D
> t I
> seriously think you need to get her to a doctor ASAP=3D2E
>
> Kat
>
> On Wednesday 06 April 2005 11:33 am, Trisha Cummings wrote:
> > Greetings All,
> >
> > Could use some parental advice here=3D2E My custodial child has emoti=
>
> on=3D
> al
>
> > problems - and it gives her bad stomach pains - she then makes herself
> > throw up=3D2E She is away at college and her voice teacher wants her to =
>
> se=3D
> e a
>
> > doctor for acid reflux=3D2E I e-mailed the teacher that this is not prob=
>
> le=3D
> m,
>
> > and what the real problem is=3D2E My daughter Amber says I was wrong to =
>
> do=3D
>
> > this=3D2E She also the one who thought someone should tell the
> > teacher=3D=
>
> 2E =3D
> I
> guess
>
> > it wasn't suppose to be me=3D2E I appreciate the teacher wanting to help=
>
> A=3D
> lex
>
> > but I don't want Alex treated for the wrong thing=3D2E So, was I correct=
>
> o=3D
> r
> did
>
> > I screw up as always=3D2E
> >
> > Trisha=
>
> =3D
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> mail2web - Check your email from the web at
> http://mail2web=3D2Ecom/ =3D2E
>
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