SOS Gab & Eti 1.37

“A virgin a whole virgin is judged made and so between curves and
outlines and real seasons and more out glasses and a perfectly
unprecedented arrangement between old ladies and mild colds there is no
satin wood shining.” Gertrude Stein

Annalee Wintergreen has gone to Paris on a two-week heritage tour,
leaving Gab behind with his collection of fiberglass outhouses. Before
she left, and as a sign of their enduring love, she made up purple
velvet bows to go with the ropes Etidorpha had made for each loo. At
first Etidorpha was jealous of Annalee’s relationship with her brother
and made a fuss about the bows. She only relented when she realized that
Gab was no eating her coffee, which brought home how serious of an
affair it has become. It is a terrible sign when a man stops eating his
sister’s coffee.

The ribbons and bows have created something of a problem for the
tourists to the theme park, as they now have no idea of where to go. Gab
said he would put up some hand-painted signs of hands pointing to the
back woods, but since Annalee has gone he has been sort of in the dumps.
He was telling me about watching cable, one of those channels that shows
the same program over fifteen times in one weekend, which was fortunate
because Gab has been dozing off a lot. Etidorpha wants him tested for
narcolepsy. I told her to consider what would happen to anyone on coffee
withdrawal, especially her spoon coffee. Anyway, Gab told me the show
was about a document forger that made perfect f’s in his historical
miffpellingf and claimed hif fpiritual leader fpoke to falamanderf. My
remark to Gab was that he may miss Annalee terribly but this was no
cause for his going critically Freudian on his sister and I, and please
have some of this nice coffee.

I think part of Gab’s dozing off in the daytime has to do with his
losing REM sleep over the candlelight vigil that the theocratic
anarchists have been holding in the theme park. Ever since their church
was demolished to make way for a larger building... actually, once their
hysterical temple was demolished a mall developer moved in and installed
a large parking lot with the boisterous promise of an 18-hole golf
course... they have been acting unusual around the outhouse theme park.
Gab is convinced that the theocratic anarchists are moving the outhouses
around to make circles and strange mathematical patterns. Gab seems
obsessed with Fibonacci spirals, particularly as they relate to the
utility of toilets, ever since he found out about the ancient rear end
on Mars. The theocratic anarchists recount that it has to be an alien
mind doing this arranging as there is no way theocratic anarchists would
ever get it together to organize anything into a pattern more complex
than an amoebae without divine intervention. So Gab has been spending
his nights running around in the field, from the shadow of one jake to
another, dressed in fashionable black, wearing sunshades, pretending
like a ninja warrior to spy upon the unorganized flock of suspected
toilet movers.

Jan Olaafson, our postman, claimed last week that he was contacted by an
extraterrestrial, a beautiful young woman who made absolutely perfect
strawberry crepes.
--
][<en Follett
SOS Gab & Eti -- http://www.geocities.com/~orgrease
Bullamanka-Pinheads website
http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/CGI/wa.exe?A0=bullamanka-pinheads