A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the
wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie
a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah,
right!" she says.
  A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring as
usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she
goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it carefully around
the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is
amazed!
  Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his
buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the
closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it round her husband's
testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
  He wakes from a drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he
stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue
ribbon attached to his privates.
 He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees a
red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
  He shakes his head and looks at the dog and says, "I don't know where
we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place.