An 85 year old man went to the doctor and the doctor told him that he needed
to do a sperm count and sent him home with a jar for a sample. The next day
the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like
this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my
left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first
with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her
knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked!  "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied,
"Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."