Well ok, folks, I'm a lurker with quad CP. Furthermore, my first post is
a dirty joke that will brand me as a pervy SOB, but lets face it,
caution is for more timid, intelligent people ;)  here ya go:

There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either
physically abusive, who ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed.
So she put an ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who:
1)would treat her nicely
2)wouldn't run away from her
3)would be good in bed.
Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just
figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these
expectations, so she just gave up. But then, one day she heard the
doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man
in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. The man said "I'm
here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms
so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
The woman replied, "Yes, but are you good in bed?"
And the man said with a smirk on his face, "How do you think I rang the
doorbell?"

There you go,

Dylan