> >
> >  ENGINEERS
> >
> >When does a person decide to become an engineer?
> >When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
> >
> >What do engineers use for birth control?
> >Their personalities
> >
> >How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
> >When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
> >
> >Why did the engineers cross the road?
> >Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
> >
> >How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
> >Tie him to a chair, then stand in front of him and fold up a road map
> >the wrong way.
> >
> >
> >You might be an engineer if -
> >
> >... choosing between buying flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your
> >RAM is a moral dilemma.
> >
> >... you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
> >
> >... in college you thought "Spring Break" was metal fatigue failure.
> >
> >... the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your
> >questions.
> >
> >... at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
> >
> >... you brought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
> >
> >... you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
> >
> >... you can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
> >
> >... you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
> >
> >... you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the
> >special effects.
> >
> >... you have saved every! power cord from all your broken appliances.
> >
> >... you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
> >
> >... you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
> >
> >... you see a good design and still have to change it.
> >
> >... you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
> >
> >... you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
> >
> >... you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
> >
> >... you window shop at Radio Shack.
> >
> >... your laptop computer costs more than your car.
> >
> >... your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
> >
> >... you've already calculated how much you make per second.
> >
> >... you've tried to repair a $5 radio.