And I can hear the villian saying, in the manner of "The Perils of Pauline," -- "Curses, foiled again!" <sneer> when they don't take over the world.
Kat
"St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List" <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hey guys! A colleague sent this. Thought it was good for a chuckle =
(Deri,
you might vant to tak ze speshal not ):
-----Original Message-----
From: Randall, Ellen=20
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2002 11:24 AM
To: Cleveland, Kyle E.
Subject: FW: EuroEnglish or is it German
Kyle, I sent this to John Minnich this a.m. Since he forwarded it to =
Tim
and Joe, I thought you too might enjoy it. Ellen
----
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English=A0will=A0be the official language of the EU rather than =
German, which
was the other=A0=A0possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded
that=A0English=A0spelling had some room for improvement and has =
accepted a
5-year=A0phase-in=A0plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish."
In the first year, "s" will=A0replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this =
will
make the sivil servants jump=A0with=A0joy. The hard "c" will be =
dropped in
favor of the "k:" This should klear=A0up=A0konfusion and keyboards kan =
have
one less letter.=A0=A0There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the =
sekond
year, when the=A0troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f." This =
will
make words=A0like=A0"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new=A0spelling kan be =
expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated=A0changes=A0are =
possible.=A0Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have=A0=A0always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the =
horible=A0mes
of=A0=A0the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful and they should =
go
away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"=A0with=A0"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary =
"o" kan
be dropd=A0from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors =
be
aplid to=A0ozer=A0kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no=A0mor=A0=A0trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu =
understand ech
ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!! And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!
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