Larry,

Mrs. Ralph has been bitching for some time that I snore and am too much of a blubberbutt, so I got shipped off to a sleep clinic or some damn thing where I slept "naturally" with wires (nearly) everywhere for half the night, then got awakened in the middle of the night and fitted with some pain-in-the nose breathing device.  They evidently confirmed the allegation that I snore and have apnea, and sent the report off to some asshole twin Doctor named Jeffrey (the Dr is a twin, and looks like Oscar Wilde) who said he could ream out the roof of my mouth including my humongous uvula (sorry, girls; that's my largest organ) and whatever else forms a landslide that blocks my breathing and wakes me up 500x a night, causing me to be exhausted all day (I fell asleep giving blood the other afternoon.

What is one to make of this shit?  It has finally dawned on me that even if I had the goddam surgery and slept with the mask for the rest of my life to keep me from snoring, SWMBO would still rag me to lose 100 pounds by spending the rest of my (unnatural) life eating boiled fucking cod.

Ralph

PS-- Sorry about your friend.  Really.

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