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Reply To: | St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List |
Date: | Fri, 30 Aug 2002 22:01:14 +0100 |
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On Wednesday 28 Aug 2002 2:47 pm, Cleveland, Kyle E. wrote:
> Nope. Kat, you did right. I'm sure your tact was spot on, too.
> The old line, "they're just trying to be helpful" may be true, but
> it usually comes from folks who don't know what it's like to be
> "singled out" for assistance. I don't mind if someone asks
> off-handedly, "Can I help you out?", but "grandstanding" about
> being helpful embarrasses the "helpee" and makes the "helper" look
> like an ass. Let him worry about his own "manly pride". You did
> what needed to be done--most of us have been in your shoes.
>
> -Kyle
Basically I agree, but, considering the guys age (70) I can appreciate
his desire to be "useful". As you age it becomes harder to feel that
you are "needed", kids have left home - independent now, may be a
widower. The "helper" often receives more benefit than the "helped".
I almost always accept help (and give gratitude) to anyone who offers
to help, even things I can do myself, because I consider I'm helping
them by accepting!!
Cheers
Deri
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