Hi,

Since my sister is deaf, and has 3 children. I am hard of hearing in addition
to having CP. :-)  I think I can answer this question about the differences.
Deafness is a hearing impairment, and it is invisible in terms of not being
physically visible. Yes, other people are aware once they talk to people
because they sound different. However, in terms of walking, and doing things,
it is very different from having CP. Many people who are deaf either grew up
going to regular public school, like my sister and I did, and managed or they
went to special residential schools.

Gallaudet is a university that encourages people to find their niche. People
within the Deaf community are very close to one another and they try to stay
together. My sister didn't become involved in the Deaf world until she went
to college. Neither of us knew any sign other than the alphabet. My mother
threatened to chop our hands off for even doing that much. So marriage is not
difficult in those circumstances. Many Deaf parents have children who are
hearing. My sister is raising her kids in the Deaf world, with signing as
their "main language." They are all Deaf. We are the only ones in our family
with any hearing impairment. Many times, Deafness runs in the family, and
skips a generation, so the parents may be Deaf, but the children are not, but
the grandchildren may be. It's a totally different ball game.

On the other hand, when you have visible physical difficulties, like Polio,
CP, MS, it is much harder to find mates. Part of that is because many of us
are not out in the world, grew up not knowing others in the same situation,
and etc. Add to the mix, that many of our parents brought us up with low
self-esteem, and the difficulties we encountered in making friends while
growing up, and having a normal social life, it's no wonder that many of us
do not marry. Those of us who do, it's a toss up as to who has children. I
know several couples on line who are married, one is married to a person
without disabilities, has no children by choice, another one who is married
to someone with a different disability, again no children, and yet another
one who is married to another person with CP, and has children and
grandchildren.

I myself would LOVE to be married and have children, however, I keep getting
set up with the "wrong" kind of situations like people with Bipolar,
Psychosis, Tourettes, mama's little boys, and have nothing in common with
these people, never mind the fact that they are intimidated by me since I do
so much with what I do have. These people for the most part were not working,
not capable of working and I am not interested in being the SUPERWOMAN who is
going to take care of the guy, and the children and myself. I would like a
friend, who is capable of sharing life with me as an "equal." I am not
interested in being their nurse, and etc.

Getting off my soapbox,

Dina D.