I thought you all might enjoy these little jokes right before the holidays.

Beth T. the OT

Sent: Thursday, December 06, 2001 1:16 PM
Subject: Life's Questions



  Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section
  in a swimming pool?

  The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

  I live in my own little world. But it's OK ... they know me here

  I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, Implants?"

  I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing
  up really fast.

  Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

  If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  I don't approve of political jokes ... I've seen too many of them get
  elected.

  The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in
  value.

  If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
  Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...now
THAT'S
  a message!!

  I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want
  to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

  I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

  I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me
  lately!

  Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've
  stayed alive.

  Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

  If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits
on
  the highway?

  How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
Miss
  America?