I couldn't have said it better myself! :-)
Matt
On Fri, 9 Nov 2001, Betty B wrote:
> In a message dated 11/09/2001 8:54:19 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> > Well, OK. Many of us. I stand corrected.
> >
> Way too many. That is precisely the reason the cycle continues. One of us
> speaks the truth, which is not comfortable with many ABs (and makes Uncle
> Tiny Tims nervous too, I've noticed). That's okay though! There are a dozen
> other people with disabilities down the road he will suck up to, and who will
> suck up right back. "You poor little AB baby. Did somebody bother you with
> a disability rights message? There, there. Everything is just fine. We
> LIKE being patronized. We ARE less, and you ARE more! Now let me smile my
> perpetual and gutless smile, and you keep patting me on the head, and let me
> pretend that your friendship is true."
>
> People can say anything they want to justify this heinous crap. Yes, there
> is learned helplessness, and I do understand how that works. Yes, the world
> is a lonely place when we speak truths that are uncomfortable. One thing is
> certain though: either the fire gets put out or it doesn't. The bottom line
> is no respecter of wimps (and neither am I).
>
> I'd rather die trying, than to bail on other activists who have the guts to
> stay and fight, and to bail on the people who have no voice. Plus, I'd
> rather have people hate me, if that's what it takes for the next person with
> a disability to be regarded as an ACTUAL human being.
>
> It's not about making friends and having happy camper time, it's about being
> able to look in the mirror and know that you are your own friend first.
> There isn't any comfortable fence riding ground here either.
>
> It's a great way to live, and so far I've discovered that I can and do have
> close AB friends. The thing is that they are the kind of people who will
> tell me what they think about me. I can count on them for honest friendship,
> not pathetic patronization. I can count on them when the chips are down too.
> Being forthright about the problems may cause me to have to wade through a
> lot of jerks, but the jerks also get weeded out quickly.
>
> Whomever shows up at my funeral is going to have a good time telling funny
> stories about me. Some I wouldn't mind knowing about, and some I might not
> want to be so public. No one will say I was AB whipped though. No kid with
> a disability will ever say that I dumped this crap in their lap either.
>
> Betty
>
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