That was an implication in my first post on Weirdness.  "Unreasonable
accommodation."

Another way: Stereotypical responses to Stereotypical situations: from the
socially acceptable to compulsive behavior and perversions.

Look at the ranges from child abuse and molestation (including genital
mutilations), to spousal abuse, to being an unwanted or unloved child or
mate, emotional abuse, alcoholism, addictions, obsessive-compulsive
disorders--the list goes on and on.  Then we get the overlay of, ahem,-isms:
various discriminations based on race, gender, disability, ethnicity,
religious creed.

In the litany of human sordidness, abuse, and inflicted pain women usually
get the brunt.  Not that men can't be and aren't victimized.

Sometimes the tables are turned.  After time though things seem to return to
normal.

Steve M.


>From: Bobby Greer <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: Re: Weirdness
>Date: Sat, 3 Mar 2001 15:29:12 EST
>
>Rayna,
>
>     I once read a book obout body language and feminism. The author made
>one
>point in her book which has stuck with me for many years. She was
>discussing
>how in many rape trials, the victim is put on trial by the way she dressed,
>talked, etc. The author compared this to a murder trial where the defense
>attorney would say something like,
>"Well, ladies and gentlemen of th jury, the victim looked like he wanted to
>die so my client merely accomodated him!"
>
>Bobby
>In a message dated 3/3/01 4:40:10 PM, [log in to unmask]
>writes:
>
><< Bobby,
>
>I'm glad you wrote what you did, and I don't really blame myself.
>It's just that I wasn't brought up to defend myself or identify
>potential sources of danger, I was always taught that it was my
>fault.  I grew up around people whose concept of reality was seriously
>skewed, and who, to this day have NO regard for my personal safety.
>I know that nothing of what the world does to me is my fault, and that
>I have the right to get angry and defend myself, but these are things
>I have had to learn for myself at a later age than most, and I get
>frustrated that it is something I have to work so hard and
>continuously at.  But it is an immense relief to me that there are
>others out there that can point these things out to me.  It gets
>exhausting having figure out everything for myself.  You did the right
>thing in writing what you did, and it DID NOT hurt me.  What hurts is
>that I was never taught these things when I should have been.
>
>Rayna
>
>(I couldn't have elbowed him in the balls, clearly he didn't have
>any!!)
>
>On Sat, Mar 03, 2001 at 10:32:17AM -0500, Bobby Greer wrote:
>     Rayna,
>
>         You sound like you are blaming yourself for what this sick pervert
>did. I
>     wouldn't have written what I did if I thought it would hurt you in
>anyway.
>     YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR THIS. Blaming yourself is victim's mentality.
>Do
>not
>     be ashamed, I beg you.
>     Next time, elbow him in the balls. Get mad, don't feel guilty.
>
>     Bobby
>     In a message dated 3/3/01 7:34:10 AM, [log in to unmask]
>writes:
>
>     <<  But I
>     was always on the watch for obvious forms of assault, not something as
>     seemingly innocuous as what this guy did.  Not joking about it now.
>)-:
>
>     Rayna >>
>  >>

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