The ideal hbot chamber. ;-)
Steve M.
ZERO GRAVITY TOILET
The "Zero Gravity Toilet" instructions are alleged to be the only
intentional joke1 in Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY.
The instructions are seen only momentarily during Dr. Heywood Floyd's
flight to the Clavius base on the Moon. Aboard the Aries spacecraft,
he's seen sleeping2, enjoying a meal and schmoozing with the (presumed)
commander of the craft. And, during one brief shot, he anxiously reads
these instructions.
Accoring to Jerome Agel3, these instructions4 were authored by Frederick
I. Ordway III, the "Scientific Consultant"5 for 2001. The text for these
Zero Gravity Toilet instructions are taken from Agel's book.
As you can see, they're not only remarkably detailed, but they actually
describe a plausible lavatory suited for "Zero G" flight. For all we
know, very similar instructions are posted somewhere on NASA's Space
Shuttles, which are descended from the same designs upon which 2001's
Pan Am space clipper was based.
D.B. Spalding, 28 Nov 96
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1 Attributed to Arthur C. Clarke, co-author of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY,
and author of "The Sentinel," upon which the screenplay was based.
2 Again?! He just had a nap aboard the Pan Am shuttle, Orion.
3 The Making of Kubrick's 2001, edited by Jerome Agel; © Copyright 1970
by The Agel Publishing Company, Inc.
4Ibid, p. 103.
5Ibid, p. 168.
ZERO GRAVITY TOILET
PASSENGERS ARE ADVISED TO
READ INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE USE
1 The toilet is of the standard zero-gravity type. Depending on
requirements, system A and/or system B can be used, details of which are
clearly marked in the toilet compartment. When operating system A,
depress lever and a plastic dalkron eliminator will be dispensed through
the slot immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive
lip, attach connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the
silver coloured ring one inch below the connection point until you feel
it lock.
2 The toilet is now ready for use. The Sonovac cleanser is activated by
the small switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its
initial-condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place
the dalkron eliminator in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by
pressing the blue button.
3 The controls for system B are located on the opposite wall. The red
release switch places the uroliminator into position; it can be adjusted
manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release button. The
opening is self adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button
which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the
uroliminator to its storage position.
4 You may leave the lavatory if the green exit light is on over the
door. If the red light is illuminated, one of the lavatory facilities is
not properly secured. Press the "Stewardess" call button to the right of
the door. She will secure all facilities from her control panel outside.
When green exit light goes on you may open the door and leave. Please
close door behind you.
5 To use the Sonoshower, first undress and place all your clothes in the
clothes rack. Put on the velcro slippers located in the cabinet
immediately below. Enter the shower. On the control panel to your upper
right upon entering you will see a "Shower seal" button. Press to
activate. A green light will then be illuminated immediately below. On
the intensity knob select the desired setting. Now depress the Sonovac
activation lever. Bathe normally.
6 The Sonovac will automatically go off after three minutes unless you
activate the "Manual off" over-ride switch by flipping it up. When you
are ready to leave, press the blue "Shower seal" release button. The
door will open and you may leave. Please remove the velcro slippers and
place them in their container.
7 If the red light above this panel is on, the toilet is in use. When
the green light is illuminated you may enter. However, you must
carefully follow all instructions when using the facilities during
coasting (Zero G) flight. Inside there are three facilities: (1) the
Sonowasher, (2) the Sonoshower, (3) the toilet. All three are designed
to be used under weightless conditions. Please observe the sequence of
operations for each individual facility.
8 Two modes for Sonowashing your face and hands are available, the
"moist-towel" mode and the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaner mode. You may
select either mode by moving the appropriate lever to the "Activate"
position.
If you choose the "moist-towel" mode, depress the indicated yellow
button and withdraw item. When you have finished, discard the towel in
the vacuum dispenser, holding the indicated lever in an "active"
position until the green light goes on ... showing that the rollers have
passed the towel completely into the dispenser. If you desire an
additional towel, press the yellow button and repeat the cycle.
9 If you prefer the "Sonovac" ultrasonic cleaning mode, press the
indicated blue button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings
A and B. For cleaning the hands, use in this position. Set the timer to
positions 10, 20, 30 or 40 ... indicative of the number of seconds
required. The knob to the left, just below the blue light, has three
settings, low, medium or high. For normal use, the medium setting is
suggested.
10 After these settings have been made, you can activate the device by
switching to the "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If, during
the washing operation, you wish to change the settings, place the
"manual off" over-ride switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make
the change and repeat the cycle.
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